In Hollywood, everyone does it. How many stories have we all heard about young starlets, powerful directors/studio heads/agents/assistant grips/whatever, and casting couches? In DC, everyone does it. Chief of staff is always sleeping with the senator/congressman/tour guide and moving her way up the ladder. In small midwest offices, people do it. Some receptionist is working over the manager for her extra-long lunches and free hand at buying the office supplies. Work is boring and sucks most of the time, sex at the office is hot, and career movement is always positive. Nailing the boss is such a simple way to handle all of these urges. And from what I hear, it pays off quite often.
In the last couple weeks, I've had multiple unrelated conversations about various friends of mine sleeping with people at their jobs and there being some kind of power play involved. Two are sleeping with the boss, and the other...well let's just say I used to date the boss and lately that little connection has been helping with this whole pesky economy issue. I know it's frowned upon, is sometimes (always?) totally against the rules, and there's a whole barrage of morality speeches one could give on this topic along with legal implications--but let's just cut all of that crap and be realistic while we gossip. Anyone who has been out in the workforce has had and seen some office sex situations unfold. So let's explore this lovely way of networking and how it pertains to our increasingly scary economic conditions.
We can start with me, since outing myself before blasting my friends seems polite. So, I had a little thing going on with my MEGA HOTTIE manager for awhile and it didn't have anything to do with his job at all, that just happened to be how we met. But...it started to creep into things. It's one thing to have a key to someone's house and let yourself in after work, get into their bed, and sleep until they're off and climbing into bed with you. It's one thing to meet up for dinner and drinks twice a week and have a lovely time. It's one thing to bring home various pieces of your crazy work costume for extracurricular activities. It's an entirely other thing when you're at work and he has to ask you to do something in a completely awkward fashion because it's almost like he's being the...boss of you. Because...he kind of is. It's another thing to act like you didn't just see him naked the night before when you get to work the next day. It's also another thing to put on those same work costume pieces and wear them at work, both of you trying not to make eye contact and pretending like you're not having flashbacks while you're both busy working (no, for future reference I'm not a Disney character taking home the paws/gloves/mermaid fin for sex). Those moments are definitely "another" thing.
For the bosses sleeping with subordinates, they will keep having a hard time at work on finding that "normal" balance of telling the sextoy things to do at the office, while not either overdoing the boss act, or being too lenient. They're going to quickly see that you can't really go backward and re-establish that normalcy, because it's just gone. It's weird to just accept the fact that yes, from this point on, you will be telling the chick that was spanking you last night to please have that file on your desk no later than 5pm. Obviously this is awkward for all involved, but as adults we do the adult thing--pretend like the awkwardness is not there and never bring it up.
For those of us that are the subordinates, it's an odd mix of almost being turned on by his boss status, and sometimes possibly abusing the new situation. Did I start to be a little less diligent about being 5 minutes early? Sure. Did I make little jokes about, "What are you going to do, fire me?" Yes, of course I did. Did I fake-threaten a possible class-action sexual harrassment lawsuit a time or two? Well, obviously I did. This is to be expected! As adults I'm sure we all carefully weighed the pros and cons of pursuing a work-related sexual relationship and were ready to accept these issues before they came along. (Ha ha ha ha that actually made me laugh to type!) No, we all did the exact same thing: saw someone we were attracted to, lusted for awhile, started flirting at work and looking forward to each day, indulging in some copy machine make-out/hallway groping/parking lot kissing, which then led to sleepovers, and then we all woke up the same sobering way wondering how you're supposed to feel when this lover-boss-dude asks you to please grab him his coffee. Doesn't sex trump coffee duty?
The other tricky thing is that there are perks! Did I get water bottles brought to me every night without asking? Yes. Did anyone else? No. Did I know about events before everyone else? Yes. Did I overhear phone calls at night or early morning regarding work related issues with management staff? Yes. Was I the first one asked to take any extra shifts/events/etc? Yes. Did I get petted, talked to, joked with, and generally favored, and still am to this day even though we're no longer involved? Yes. Are these all perks? Well, yes! It's nice to be favored, it's nice to be privvy to information, it's nice to be the It Girl. Did I pursue him for these reasons? No way, he's got perfect facial features and a hot body with a seriously dry, almost mean sarcastic wit and a kind of asshole demeanor while working. That's all I look for in my time-filler men. But I still got the perks and fun of dating the boss all the same.
For me, I'm no cautionary tale, this little fling worked out well because we ended on a high note of agreeing it shouldn't go further (well, and my heart was out of the country unable for any other shows or performances). He and I have become good friends and recently he saved my job from ending. Was this because I've slept in his bed? Possibly. Do I care? Absolutely not, I'm thankful for the friendship and job! It doesn't go this well for all who play this little power game though. If things hadn't gone well with Mr. Play Secretary I'm the Boss Tonight, I could very well have had my job long gone when it was recently threatened. Work could be unbearable and I'd have to leave. A thousand things could have gone wrong. For my friends involved with these romances, it could get reallllll messy. Actually, 80% of them probably will. All I'm saying is, in this economy, sleeping with the boss might not be a horrible idea. I'm not saying go seduce your boss (that's an entirely other topic), but if you're in your boss' bed right now, there's no judgement here. Time's are tough, we're all getting creative!
